Change Your Life by Changing Your Mindset | Keri Roberts

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Welcome to The Happy Doc, the voice of fulfilled physicians. Sharing life stories from physicians, health professionals and entrepreneurs, so that you can live your happy life.

[00:00:49] Dr. Taylor Brana: Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Happy Doc. I am always excited, you guys know this by now. I’m super excited every time, but now Keri Roberts is onboard. And I’m really excited for this conversation because one of the things that you talked about beforehand a little bit is your passion for mindset.

Clearly living a fulfilled life is going to require the proper set up for us to really execute on a happy and fulfilled life. So, Keri, thank you so much for hopping on. 

[00:01:20] Keri Roberts: Thank you. I’m excited to be here. You know, I’m always on the other side of the podcast, so I’m excited to be interviewed and be a part of this as well. I know your partner, Neel. He’s fabulous. So, excited to meet you too. 

[00:01:30] Dr. Taylor Brana: Amazing. So you’re involved with several projects. So can you touch base with us on some of those podcasts we’re working on? 

[00:01:37] Keri Roberts: Yeah. So my podcast is Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things, and I’ve had it for five and a half years, and it’s really a lot about mindset.

It’s about showcasing the everyday people around us doing and being great. And then kind of giving mindset education as well as actionable tips and tools. So, done over 450 episodes. So we’ve been going strong for a while. And I have other clients that I work with on branding, community building. I used to host the Inside Voice podcast, which was all voice technology.

And I also host the B2B Tech Talk with Ingram Micro, which is all technology and cybersecurity. So I get to meet wonderful people all day and I really enjoy it. And I love it. 

[00:02:19] Dr. Taylor Brana: That’s amazing. And again, 450 episodes. That is, that is quite a feat. Clearly you are passionate about that podcast and obviously the other projects you’re working on as well.

Now, that’s a lot of human beings to talk to. That’s a lot of interviews. That’s a lot of shows you’ve been putting out. Are there common threads? I know you get this question all the time, but are there common threads of these ordinary people doing extraordinary things? That’s a great title. I love it.

But what are these people doing that might be a little bit different that allow them to get to the next level? 

[00:02:53] Keri Roberts: So I think, I started this podcast last in 2014, again, with this idea that there were amazing people around us every day. And that just because you weren’t famous, or maybe you didn’t have the wealth to be able to get this recognition doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.

And so it started with kind of interviewing people I knew to, honestly, a lot of people were on the show, that’s the first conversation I ever have with them. So, people I’ve just researched and found, I thought they were doing something interesting.

And after doing it for a few years, I asked the question you did of like, well, what makes somebody go from ordinary to extraordinary? What makes that difference and how do we define extraordinary? And so for me, it was really about mindset, what’s kind of changing. And so initially on the show, I interviewed a lot of psychologists and therapists, and we’ve had various experts on and done various tips and tools as well.

Well, but I think the idea of extraordinary, the definition is different for everyone. It’s similar to the definition of success and I kind of define it as your ability to live your full, wonderful, unique self. Doing things that you love and spending time with the people you enjoy most.

That is my mantra. That’s what I try to live by every single day and when you have these conversations with people, they’re doing that too, and you hear their journey from when they weren’t to when they are, and it’s never a perfect science and it doesn’t mean it always stays that way because things change. But it’s really about defining what extraordinary means for you and then going into what creates a great mindset as well.

[00:04:26] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah. And that, that makes a lot of sense, right. Cause success, and extraordinary, that idea is going to be a little bit different for everyone, right? So my extraordinary life is obviously going to be different from your extraordinary life, and whoever we talk to. So I think that makes a lot of sense for us to be able to define that and make that really personal.

I’m very curious, you’ve gone down this path. You’ve had so many conversations with people. I know there has to be a fire in there for why the heck you’re doing this in the first place. So is there a story underneath this? You know, you said 2014, was there something around that time and that you’re like, I have to go for this. Was there something in there? 

[00:05:03] Keri Roberts: So I always, I mean, since I was a kid, I always cared about other people. I’ve always noticed the person that was being picked on or the person that wasn’t chosen and, how could I make them feel a part of what we were doing? Always trying to be inclusive so I owned a dance studio for about seven years, and it was actually a very similar concept, this idea that there were people that wanted to dance.

But because they weren’t the best they weren’t allowed to. And I thought that was ridiculous. I felt if you know, somebody wants to do it, you could teach them and had built this amazing studio of people, of all different backgrounds and ages, a lot of adults, that came on. And so then it was like this podcast.

It was the same thing. I was listening to podcasts in 2014. Which is still pretty early compared to now. And everyone I listened to was the same 10 people, the same 10 celebrities, or coaches or “gurus.” giving this kind of story, Well, I was broke and now I make tons of money or I didn’t do something, and now I do.

And I was like, Where’s the middle? like most of us live in the middle and I was just so curious about those stories and highlighting people of what makes them great. And I think people, especially in the US, we’re always talking about our job. You go up to somebody, what do you do is one of the first questions.

And I’m asking, who are you? You know, it’s not about what you do, but who are you as a person? So when I had these conversations, some of them are “successful” businessmen and women, but a lot of them are moms. I have a mom who, she and her son were sick and they decided to start living in national parks and how that changed their life.

I actually had a doctor on, a pretty famous doctor, and he talked about it wasn’t the surgeries that he did, but the thing that mattered most was kind of this element of the Universe or God, and how that played into things and how he was with his patients and how sometimes you just have to care and pray, and that would make a difference.

People that have had humongous weight loss challenges. So I think at the end of the day, it’s like, who are you as a person? And how can I highlight that and show that extraordinary and greatness? And I get such a natural high off of that because I think every single person is great at something we’re not going to be great at everything, but we are great at something. And how can we highlight that? Share that with one another. 

[00:07:24] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah, I love that. And I think it’s so true. Right? We often aspire to be someone, right. We are often looking at these people like you mentioned the top 10 whoever. Right. But what’s so interesting about what you said is you realize that there’s a lot of people kind of average, or that have some skills or who have general life with a family and a blue-collar job, or what have you, but still, in there, there might be some aspects of how we get to our next level.

Not the top level, but our next level. So with that being said, are there, again with mindset and everything, are there certain habits or tricks or actions that you’ve noticed have allowed people to maybe improve or enhance their mindset? 

[00:08:14] Keri Roberts: Yeah. You know, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.

and I think about, where mindset comes from, first off. So we have to look at that. Most of the people, most of our mindset comes from how we were raised. So how we were brought up from our parents, if we didn’t live with our parents, whoever we lived with, that’s a lot of where our mindset comes from, our immediate family.

Then it also comes from culture. So culture, meaning what time period were you born in? What economic status were you in? It could be what race you were in, what was kind of going on culturally, around you. People who are in their twenties are going to have a different mindset than people in their fifties a lot of times, because of the cultural component.

The other piece then becomes later in life, the experiences you have in life. So, were you married? Did you have kids? Did you lose someone? Did you have a job and lose all the money? Did you make a ton of money? You know, all of those experiences make a difference.

And then the other part is what content you’re consuming? What are you watching? What are you reading? What are you listening to? So if that’s what forms our mindset in the beginning, we then have to figure out what we’ve got to change, all those things. And when I think about it, we can only change if we want to change.

So nobody’s going to change their mindset if they don’t want to. And we see that a lot. We see that a lot in politics. People are like, that’s how I am. I’m not changing. That’s fine. If that person is happy the way they are, we can’t change anyone. We can only change ourselves. So we start looking at, okay, how do I change my mindset?

Well, we talk about how we were brought up in parenting, past experiences, and culture. That’s where I usually will tell people a therapist or psychologist can be really helpful. Someone who’s sitting with you and getting you to figure it out what happened? Why did it happen? Why does it upset you? Can we kind of create these new concepts? Then you’re really looking at, okay, how do I surround myself with the right people?

Who do I need to let go of? Who do I need to add in? For some people, I’ve talked to kids, teenagers. And they’re just not in a great home. And so they don’t have the choice to leave. And so this is where the content piece becomes really special and why I love podcasting. Right? You can put someone else in your ear and listen to them and listen to who you want to be.

And the information you want, even if the people around you are not. So it always goes back to, okay, how do I deal with some of the past issues I’ve had, the cultural issues I’ve had? How do I create new experiences with new people? And then how do I inhale positivity? As I like to say.

And really get the right content. What am I watching at the end of my day? Do I need to stop watching the news? Do I need to read new books? Do I need to listen to podcasts? Whatever it is. And those are the tools that start to change the mindset little by little, every single day. 

[00:10:59] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah. I mean, I loved everything you said. Obviously my background is in psychiatry and I do a lot of work with the psychology of the mind and it’s absolutely true.

I mean, the genetic makeup, the environment, the culture, your surroundings, obviously the experiences, all those things can be mental weights, right. And in your mind and hold you back from maybe there’s this fire, this person, this spirit, this energy, whatever you want to call it, there’s something inside of you that maybe wants to be more, but you just are constantly being weighed down

And you bring up really great points about that and the consumption piece. What I loved about what you said there is, I’m sure you’ve heard the quote, but if you’re starting to hang out with people who are higher energy or, doing things right, who have that right mindset who are taking action in their lives, it rubs off on you.

And that environmental piece is so, so important. It reminds me of Tony Robbins. He has this idea of state story strategy. I don’t know if you’ve heard that one, but the State is basically your energy level. And I think it’s so important sometimes that people don’t think about how our energy level has a huge impact on our mindset.

Right? So if you’re more exhausted, you’ve had like maybe a bad meal, maybe something happened earlier in the day, your state’s gonna drop and you’re not gonna feel as energetic. And then all of a sudden you’re gonna have an argument with your spouse or an argument with your friend, and that’s not like you, right.

But your state drops. And so I think it’s very important. What you said with the consumption of material. What material are we watching? What are we putting into our bodies? You know, how are we resting? That energy component I think is absolutely valuable.

So with that being said, what do you surround yourself with, What are you consuming? What gets you into a state of feeling more uplifted in your life?

[00:12:56] Keri Roberts: So I am someone who feels deeply, anyone that’s in the psychology space has heard that term before. Meaning, I am just an emotional person. If I watch a commercial and somebody is crying, I’m crying, I’m excited. I’m amped up. Like I am just, I feel deeply about everything.

Which is a good thing and a bad thing sometimes. But I think for me, I’m very much a feeler and I’m very much checking in with my emotions of how I feel about this work that I’m doing? How do I feel about this individual? And it’s not always like one instance, right? Because like you said, emotions can change, and sometimes we’re not in the best state, but it is consistently coming up, for your work, let’s use that as a big example where you’re just like, Ugh, like I am just. I’m not excited about this. I am procrastinating. I’m done.

It’s generally a sign that it’s probably not the right fit and sometimes anymore, sometimes it was for a while, but we get bored and we want to do something different. And so I always check in with that pretty consistently.

So I challenge people to spend time alone by yourself. I think, during this COVID time, a lot of people have done that and I’ve seen some beautiful progress. People really find clarity in their life. And, when I say by yourself, I mean, no one else around, you’re not on your phone. People aren’t interrupting you. By yourself.

I prefer to be out in nature. I live by the beach. I go to the beach a lot. I journal, sometimes I talk out loud. Sometimes I’ll write stuff down and I just kind of put out like, what am I feeling? What do I want to be working on? And it helps me process so much. So my, as much as an extrovert I am, my real alone time is so crucial.

And I think a lot of us don’t do that because we can be scared of what we might find out. If you sit with yourself and you find, Oh my God, I actually don’t like my work. That’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. That can be really scary, but it’s the first step and understanding like, okay, like what can I do to shift?

Who do I need to talk to? What do I need to read? You know, it goes back to all these things we’re talking about. That’s a big one for me. I mean, I try to surround myself with people that are positive, that are caring, that are kind. And let go of the people that are not, I mean, sometimes we don’t always have that luxury.

Some people with their family or whatever. But the best you can, you can only control yourself and we’re in control of our life. And so anytime I’m getting upset or something’s not working, I always ask myself, what can I do to contribute, to control this situation in the way that I want.

And sometimes it is leaving a relationship or leaving a job. And other times it’s Oh, well, if I talked this way, That would give me a better response. So it’s really kind of a mix of surroundings with the right people, but really that alone time, journaling, nature, figuring out what works for you.

[00:15:50] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah. It reminds me of the quote that one of my mentors told me. He’s like, in any situation you can change your location or like change the situation, right? Should I stay in this relationship or not, that’s like changing the location, right. Change your attitude. Right? Like maybe you need to look at this thing a little bit differently or accept it and do nothing.

And that’s fine too. Right. But there are only a few options, but it reminds me of, again, that, and kind of the, almost like the, not stoic philosophy, but like the serenity prayer, like, know what you can control, know what you can’t control, and take action on that. I also really liked the idea that you talked about, and I saw this on your website as well.

The idea of silence and the idea of space and the idea of self-reflection. And I think, and I’m sure you’re gonna agree with me on this. I think we’re in a famine or our society is deprived of silence. We’re constantly bombarded with the latest TV shows, social media, Netflix, whatever.

And so we’re constantly being bombarded with information. So number one, we have to vet the information we’re consuming, which you mentioned earlier, but then number two is. When are we building in silence? Like when are there these gaps? And so like you mentioned like with COVID right now, there’s a lot more reflection time and there’s silence.

So can you talk to me a little bit more about that reflection piece and silence piece? 

[00:17:18] Keri Roberts: Yeah, I think, like I said, I did it before COVID so to me, it wasn’t an issue. I had been married before and I was divorced and I think when that happened, That was a time to be really reflective.

Anytime people – now, a lot of people have lost their job, right? Anytime kind of something major happens. You’re forced to figure out, what am I doing? What’s going on, what’s happening? And you’re forced to sit by yourself. And there are times this is not necessarily an easy thing. There are times you’re just crying.

There are times you’re angry. There are times you’re confused. Sometimes you’re like, Universe, give me a sign. but I think it’s, it’s being patient with yourself. Sometimes it is meditating and just being quiet and the answers kind of come. For me, through that process of divorce many years ago, It was so strange to me because obviously I was spending so much time by myself and reinventing so many things and something so strong – I was living in Virginia at the time – said to me, you need to keep doing the podcast and you need to live closer to New York. And I don’t know if anyone’s ever had that before, like strong, like. I don’t, I wasn’t necessarily thinking of it. I wasn’t writing it. It was like this weird message usage of like, you need to do these two things.

And I was like, okay, I’m from New Jersey. I’m moving back. immediately, I had no questions. I’m moving back. I’m going to keep doing this podcast. I don’t know what’s going to happen. And it has been amazing having followed that. And I’ve asked other people, have you ever had those moments? And some people will say no.

and I always ask, well, are you spending time by yourself? Because you can’t get them around other people so for me. So for me, that’s happened during COVID, I have had a very close friend realize that they are trans. And it was something that there were things that were going on, but it was kind of like, eh, push it aside and talk about whatever.

And now I talked to them and they’re so happy as they’re going through this transition. And again, this idea of being your full, unique style. So it’s different for everyone. It could be a work thing, a relationship thing with yourself, with others. I don’t know. but it is a process, but you have to spend time by yourself, like you said, in silence.

If you’re not close to any type of nature, putting on like some nature sounds on your phone I think is a good one as well. 

[00:19:38] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah. I mean, I love the idea of silence and like you said, there are things that can come up and it’s, this is one of the reasons, I think a lot of people don’t like meditation and don’t like reflection is, in my experience when I started doing meditation all of this stuff came out.

Like all of the, I mean, all of the skeletons, all of the crap that you don’t want to look at in your life, it’s there. I mean, as you know, with your own self-reflection too, when a moment happens and you are stuck, it all comes out and it’s very uncomfortable, but it’s also like we talked about before, it’s kind of like that weight that you need.

A lot of people are carrying a lot of weight, psychological way, emotional weight, spiritual weight if that’s what you want to call it, or energetic weight or, and that type of stuff really does weigh on you. And then when you do finally reflect, and if you’re able to handle it and look at it, it can offer, I know in my life, many gifts. And I think it’s, so I really want to focus on this for a second because it’s just a really, undervalued or underrated, I should say underrated skill to actually do nothing in a weird way, stay silent

[00:20:55] Keri Roberts: It is! It’s so funny. I don’t know if you’ve had this.

Here’s an example, a personal example, I’ve always wanted to live at the beach. I’ve been obsessed with the beach. People would come into my apartment when I lived in Virginia. They’re like, so you like the beach, like literally every decor is beach. And, when I was moving back to New Jersey, I had this feeling like.

You know, I’d always talked about California and people were like, are you gonna move to California now? Or are you going to do it? And I was like, no, I have this feeling. I have to be closer to New York. So I’m not doing that. And I remember my mom being like, well, why don’t you look to see if you can live by the beach?

And I was like, am I allowed to? like, I feel like I haven’t earned that. Like, I don’t know. Isn’t that what people do when they’re older? Like, am I allowed to do that? Is it okay for me to do that, have I earned that? And my mom was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, that’s a mindset thing.

I’m not sure where exactly that came from. It could have been the past relationship. It could have been stuff I’ve heard, from other people, I don’t know and my mom was like, well, why don’t we just look? And if you can afford it, why not? It has been the best thing.

And every time I’m on the beach, I’m like, this is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. And I think like I now go to the beach and like, it’s forced me to have time to just be. I just go and I just sit on the beach and, Sometimes I read, I generally go by myself. Sometimes I take photography and some more, I just do nothing.

And it’s amazing. And I think like you said, a lot of people don’t realize the value of that. We’re always go, go, go. And we need those moments to just be, and like notice what’s around us, the people, the environment, like how beautiful the sunsets are and the waves. And like, if you’re not by the beach and you’re like, Oh, nice for you.

Whatever that is for you, the Lake, if it’s, you really love to read, like, I don’t know what that is for you, but it’s finding whatever excites you and knowing that you have value, you’re a human. Yeah. And if that’s what you want to do and you can afford it, do it, like do it, you know?

[00:23:02] Dr. Taylor Brana: Absolutely. And I want to go back to something you mentioned earlier, which is a theme I’ve seen with my work, and it’s something that I’ve encountered with myself is, is giving yourself permission, right? So giving yourself permission to actually do the thing that your heart or your mind or whatever you want to call it, your system wants to do.

And I feel like what happens is like, as we’re kids, we’re constantly being told, no, like, no, you can’t do this. You can’t do this. You can’t do this. You go through school and there’s all these rules. And of course there’s a value in that too. And the structure is very valuable, but at some point you have to be able to turn them back on the switch to say like, I’m allowed to go for things I want, and, and so like that permission piece is really powerful.

It’s funny with my own podcast, the reason it took me a while, but I finally did it, was because I was like, I was speaking to a mentor and I said, I really want to start some creative projects. I was talking about a blog and a coaching thing I wanted to do, and some classes that I want to teach.

And I was like, but I just, I don’t think I can do it. And she’s like, Taylor, you can do it. You can do it, just set some time aside, spend like an hour and just put it in and you can do it. You’re allowed to do it. No, one’s going to stop you. You’re absolutely allowed to do this. And then like she said it and then like, I don’t know why, but when she told me like the check mark went off in my brain, I’m like, You’re right. I can do this. So have you found that?

[00:24:35] Keri Roberts: You know, it’s interesting. Cause like I use that term as validation, right? Like sometimes we need that external validation from literally anyone. It doesn’t even have to be someone close to us that just says, yeah, you can do it. Or. Try it, you know what I mean?

[00:24:49] And it’s, there are certain ones that we’ll have in ourselves, but I think that’s what goes back to surrounding yourself with the right people. yeah, I totally agree with you it was funny because I remember, like I said, I had done this, the dance studio. And I was like, okay, like now I’m, I’m not married.

[00:25:07] I don’t have to live in this area anymore. What do I want to do? Like what’s I can do something else. You know what I mean? And people were like, Oh, like, why are you stopping the studio? Isn’t that your dream? Like, I don’t get it. Like, why are doing it? I was like, no, that was my dream when I was 16 and I did it.

[00:25:24] And then I realized, Oh, that’s actually not right what I want to do anymore. So that’s what I’m saying. Sometimes we should shift and we change and people are like, I don’t get, like, what are you doing with your podcast? Like, I don’t understand. And like, you have to remember. I remember that when other people say that it’s because they can’t understand what’s going on.

[00:25:42] they’re not necessarily trying to be rude. It’s just, they don’t get it. And so you just have to like, let it go easier said than done. I’m not saying I do that all the time but I just knew like, in my heart, it’s like, I have to be close to New York after the podcast. And now I’ve done multiple shows.

[00:25:57] I had clients I’ve been paid to host. I’ve been paid to do things. So it’s like, It does work itself out in some way. And I had someone on my show who talked about this idea of serendipity meeting inspired action. And I love that mix, because serendipity is the kind of things that happen out of nowhere, but make sense.

But then you still have to take the inspired action. You still have to do something based on something you feel and the importance of those two things. And I loved how she said that because I was like, yes, that’s exactly how I feel about it. And I’m sure as you know, I mean, if you’re a business owner or you start any project, there are days that you’re on this high and you’re excited and you love it.

And the next day you’re like, what, what am I doing? So like, that’s a normal process too. Right? Don’t you feel it? 

[00:26:41] Dr. Taylor Brana: Absolutely. I mean earlier this week it goes on fire, and then some days, like, you’re just like in this lull and like today was kind of the day where I felt like I was busy, but I didn’t really do anything.

[00:26:53] And I feel like sometimes there are these days where you’re just on it and yeah. Being productive. So absolutely. And then. I mean this isn’t, again, I’m not trying to say psychologically speaking, but there are phases where you’re kind of almost like manic and you’re like, almost like it’s like, almost like too much sometimes.

[00:27:08] And then there’s times where you’re super down and depressed. And I think that’s just like a natural cycle of a business building. It’s kind of a wild ride. 

[00:27:17] Keri Roberts: Well, I mean, that’s life, you know what I mean? We are all so another again, you learn so much from interviewing people. Another woman had said.

She started doing some sort of like chart of like, her life and like when she was happy, when it wasn’t whatever. And she was like, I looked at and she was like, it looked like a heartbeat. And she was like, that’s so true to how life is that actually, most of our time is kind of spent in the middle.

There’s like not a lot happening. We’re just kind of here. You’re just doing. But then there are moments where it’s amazing and it’s great. And there are moments where it’s not, and that I think realizing every single person. It has, or we’ll go through that and that, we will, in the end, like, we’ll be okay.

It doesn’t mean it’s, it will be okay, but you’ll be okay and that, it may be challenging, but there are other people that have been through the same thing. And I think, when you reach out and you talk to people, you’ll be surprised when you hear people’s stories like, Oh, I’ve been through that too.

[00:28:11] And like, it’s matter of fact for them because it’s over and so there’s just a lot of resources out there. And even if you look on social media, people are always putting their best foot forward. Nobody’s going to put out when they’re upset or when they’re out angry, you’re fighting with someone some do know, but most are not.

So it’s just remembering, like, that’s just a piece of someone’s life as well. 

[00:28:32] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah, absolutely. And you bring up a good point. We kind of alluded to it previously, but as the idea of like, perception, right? Like when you are watching these people’s highlight reels, right. You’re watching your friends who are entrepreneurs or whatever, and they’re kind of like, Oh, I did this today and I did this today, but you don’t see the brunt, like grunt work that they’re doing.

[00:28:53] You don’t see the hard days. You don’t see it. The days that they don’t believe in themselves. Do you have any, like thoughts around how you deal with or from your guests, like how to deal with the perception of others? We’re talking a lot about change right now in this conversation and a lot about like, shifting the way you think and changing your mindset, maybe doing something that you would like to do, but how do you deal with, and again, talking about changing your surroundings and the people you work with, but how do you deal with it when you have loved ones, you have people that you’re close to, but they aren’t on that kind of growth mindset or they’re not on that positive mindset and you still love them and you still appreciate them, but their perceptions are really hurting you. Like, how do you, like, how do you manage that?

[00:29:35] Keri Roberts: Yeah. I mean, again, everything I’m sharing, like it’s definitely not a perfect science and there are some days it works and some days it doesn’t, I think every single human being is totally different. You may do something with someone else. You’re like, Oh, it worked on them. Why didn’t work with this person?

Because we all have unique stories and backgrounds and experiences and triggers and issues. And so, I think it’s, it’s remembering that first and foremost, it’s always, I thought about the other day, I was like, it’s when most people fight. It’s actually the same fight. Usually both people don’t feel heard, they don’t feel respected and that’s just all they want.

And yet we go through these kinds of little things and we’re never really getting to the real problem. So I try to, at the moment it’s hard, but I try to step back and say, okay, this person, most of the time, 99% of the time, I do think people are good. I don’t think they’re trying to intentionally hurt.

[00:30:32] Of course there are always those handful of people, that they’re not, they’re just feeling frustrated, maybe something personal in their life. Maybe they are stressed out. Maybe they feel like you didn’t listen to them. You know, like trying to be aware of their situation. I will say it doesn’t make it okay for someone to talk to you or to treat you in a certain way.

There is a certain level of where there’s abuse sometimes. And so we want to be careful of that, cause that’s definitely not okay but I try to be compassionate to why someone feels that way, but then it’s also creating boundaries. And so sometimes the boundary is I’m not going to interact with this person.

Sometimes it’s, I’m just not going to talk about these topics with this person. Sometimes it’s okay. Like, even though I want to give an opinion, maybe it’s not the right time to say it, you know that it’s not going to do anything so it’s not perfect, but I try to, to think of things in my head.

Sometimes I overthink and then try to play them out. But again, we can only control ourselves. So there’s nothing you can do. And if, if the best thing for you to do is just cut it off, to not interact with that person, that might be the best speed. But I usually find choosing certain topics.

Like I remember I had, an old family friend that was like, Didn’t get entrepreneurship. And like, anytime I talked about my business was nasty, nasty, negative, and I would go home all upset. And then I was like, wait a second. Why don’t we even talk to this person about it? When they would ask how it worked?

I was like, good. And then I’d like to move on. And what a difference that made, because it just was like, no, I’m not saying anything else about this topic. And we talked about something else. So. Again, it’s like, we do have some control over what we allow, what we don’t, share this stuff with the people who want to hear it, who care.

[00:32:19] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah. And like that last section you talked about, like, it reminds me of this idea that like, look, if you believe in yourself and you’re finding your personal success and you’re feeling, and you’re seeing that progress, even if it’s small, you don’t have to tell people about it. Right. And it’s like, If someone gets it, they get it.

And if they don’t, they don’t and it’s fine but it’s, it’s so true. Definitely early on, like when you’re starting a new project, you want to tell everyone and you have that excitement and you have that like, and then it’s true too that belief power. If you share it with the wrong people. It can cut that fire, you know? So. I think that’s a really valuable point of sort of being like, thinking about who you’re sharing things to, and if they don’t believe in it, fine, whatever.

[00:33:04] Keri Roberts: I always give this quote, my dad has said this to me since I was a kid, he always says, Keri, 10% of people get it. 1% really get it. And I’ve talked to a ton of people. He’s right.

And what that means is like they get it about life. You know, they get your values, they get, what it means to be a good person. It’s in some ways kind of upsetting to hear that statistic yet at the same time. I think it’s very true, because as we just talked about, you’re talking about people’s upbringing, their experiences, they have not decided to improve themselves or work on themselves.

And so you’re dealing with people like that, but for people who have that growth mindset or are willing to learn and to be open, those are people to be around. And I’ve had times where I thought somebody was one of those people and then they weren’t. So. It’s really a small group of people that really get it and that really get you and that want to do what you’re doing and value you.

And that’s okay. And we live in an age where everybody wants a million followers, but I always would rather have the quality. I’d rather have five people get it and love what I do. And I appreciate them, than 500 that don’t, it makes a difference. 

[00:34:14] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah, absolutely. And for some people they might want that popularity. Right. And I think that again comes back to, what’s your, what’s your personal style and what you’re really looking for.

What’s something that has been, and I know I’m putting you on the spot here, but what’s something that has been maybe more game-changing for you. Maybe a habit you’ve changed, maybe a routine you’ve changed, maybe a purchase you’ve made.

Has there been anything within the last few months that you feel has been allowing you to be more impactful? 

[00:34:44] Keri Roberts: Hmm. I probably would say it’s the alone time thing. I think, making time to just be it’s much easier for me when it’s nice out. Right. Cause I feel like this pressure of like, it’s nice out. I need to go outside.

So making time for that. And allowing myself to make time for that and say, you know what? It’s okay. Because I used to feel guilty that I live at the beach. I would feel guilty if I would take a walk during lunch, like, Oh, I should be doing more. I’m not doing enough. I’m never doing enough.

And like, again, I think a lot of people feel that way. A lot of Americans feel that way, but understanding, it’s okay, you are you enough, you have done enough, it’s important for your wellbeing to take an hour of time to exercise, to move. So reminding myself that, and then actually taking the action to do that, has been huge.

So generally, almost every day, I end my day, being outside in nature in some capacity, even if it’s for a few minutes, sometimes it’s a walk. Sometimes it’s sitting outside, but it makes such a difference for my wellbeing. And it has in the last couple of years as well. 

[00:35:52] Dr. Taylor Brana: Yeah, the slowing down piece, at least, I can speak to myself, having those moments allows you to then interact with whatever else that you’re doing I think in a more effective manner

There’s definitely been times as I’ve been practicing my own mindfulness. I’m like, Oh, I used to be in an argument about this thing. Like, this conversation would have led me to this negative consequence, but now I’m like, I’m just going to watch this pass by, so, I think that’s really true.

I think being more is very impactful, so thank you. Thank you for that tip.

I asked you lots of questions, Keri. You know, I’ve drilled you at this point. Has there been anything you want to share to the audience today? Again, you’ve done a tremendous amount of work in various different areas. Is there something that you’d like to leave with the audience today? 

[00:36:43] Keri Roberts: I think, nothing I’m going to say is new information. I think at the end of the day, remember that you’re in control of your life and you’re the only person living your life. No one else is. And so you have to figure out what are the things that make you happy.

It’s not somebody else’s responsibility to do that. It’s yours, it’s not your parents or your spouses and so taking the time to really figure out what that means, and it doesn’t have to be a work thing, but just understand like you are in control of your life and how you live it and what you want to do, and to take action, to get as close to how you want to be living as possible.

[00:37:21] Dr. Taylor Brana: Amazing, love it. And how can people reach out to you? 

[00:37:25] Keri Roberts: so you can check out the podcast. It’s called Ordinary People, doing extraordinary things, wherever you get your podcasts, or at my website, the branding connection.com/podcastshow. And I’m also under my name Keri Roberts on all social platforms. So if you want to find me on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, happy to connect. 

[00:37:45] Dr. Taylor Brana: Thank you so much, Keri, you dropped some great insight. I thought that was a really valuable conversation. We didn’t even, we didn’t even hit the technology piece, but part of that is because I think you just provided like a lot of insight that I think, I think this is one of those conversations people will listen to and it’s gonna make them reflect and it’s going to, make them think about that change.

And I really appreciate you providing that insight. Thank you so much for your time. 

[00:38:12] Keri Roberts: Thank you so much, Taylor, it’s been a pleasure. 

[00:38:14] Dr. Taylor Brana: And that’s the episode for today. I want to thank you so much for listening to the Happy Doc Podcast. Again, this is a podcast that is going to inspire you as a physician, as a health professional, as an individual to be fulfilled in your life, so please look out for the other episodes in The Happy Doc. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a five star review on the podcasting application of your choice. You can also reach out to us by emailing the happydoc1@gmail.com. I’ll see you on the next episode.